Texas Weekend

Uncle CH, Dad, and Uncle Jimmy

Here are a few pics. from our weekend in TX. (Kayla suggested I could get my pics put on a disc...that had not occurred to me!) It was so good to be with family, but really hard to see how quickly this terrible disease has weakened Uncle Jimmy. Looking illness in the face (which actually I have to do every day, so you'd think I'd be use to it) is not fun...makes you feel vulnerable, frustrated, wanting to do more than you possibly can. Through it all, the ties that bind us together stay strong...love that accepts, shared history & Faith, prayer, music, humor. Having such blessings is indispensable in dark times. There were plenty of laughs in the weekend as well...and good food...Uncle Jimmy insisted on getting some of his Etouffee out of the freezer! Here are pics. of me and two of my sweet cousins(Carla and Dianne) and also a picture of Dad fishing with his nephew and great-nephew. Uncle Jimmy's property on a lake is beautiful and these shots don't do it justice. All your prayers are appreciated!


I'd brought a pile of stuff to read in the car, but didn't get much read...wound up having to do most of the driving, as my Dad was kinda sick. An article about Francis Schaeffer ("Learning to Cry for the Culture" by John Fischer) in April's CT really stood out to me...and related to recent blog discussions about ministry and the culture's affect on children, etc. Fischer says: ["Schaeffer was the 1st Christian leader who taught me to weep over the world instead of judging it....Jesus asked us to love our enemies. Part of loving is learning to understand.Too few Christians today seek to understand why their enemies think in ways that we find abhorrent. It's hard to weep over those whom we have declared as enemies. It's difficult to sympathize with people we see as threats to our children and neighborhoods. Perhaps a good beginning would be to more fully grasp the depravity of our own souls and the depth to which God's grace had to go to reach us. I doubt we can cry over the world if we've never cried over ourselves."]

Surely any attempts at ministry must have such a starting point. I am challenged to live more like this!!

Aunts and Uncles

I am tentatively entering into the world of picture posting (after much consternation dealing w/these:)
Don't worry...I will not start "boring" you w/pictorial displays of my life on a daily basis...not even possible if I wanted to since I don't own a Dcamera...and buying one just for blogging seems a bit silly! Maybe one day I'll catch up with the technical age. That said, these were sent to me by cousins.

• The 1st picture is of me with my Aunt Carolyn and beautiful little cousin Nicole this past Christmas. We had such a lovely visit. This past Tuesday Aunt Carolyn went to the hospital with heart-attack symptoms and had to have a stint placed in her heart. If you know her, this was a shocking event...she's a pretty health conscious person w/alot of medical knowledge. I love my Aunt Carolyn!! She is a bigger than life character...with big opinions and a huge heart in a little person...she's a caring supporter to us. Please keep her in your prayers in this fragile time...she lives alone and needs strength, courage, and healing.


• The other 2 pictures are of my Uncle Jimmy & Aunt Barbara at their 50th anniversary party last summer and then Mom&Dad with his siblings& their spouses. This has been an upsetting couple of weeks as we have learned of his severe illness from cancer. Things have happened very suddenly and really make you aware of how quickly sickness can overwhelm these weak bodies. And how much we must appreciate our family while we have them. Uncle Jimmy is also a unique character...has lived a big and giving life. One of my favorite life memories is Summer 2005 when we stayed with him during Hurricane Katrina...and then he and I made a flying trip back here to La to assess the situation. Traveling with him involved alot of good talking...listening to his ipod with some varied musical choices (mainly Gospel and Ray Price!)...picking up some Boudin and eating boiled shrimp at a late-night buffet...and of course him helping me clean out the deep-freeze and other stuff. What a trip! We are going this Memorial Day weekend to be with them in TX. Please pray for him.


• so that's my little foray into pictures...mainly to be sentimental about these precious family members, and seriously ask you to keep them in your prayers.
  

"Created Chaos"

• Sometimes I'd prefer to be a funny, cheerful writer..actually I am NOT a dark, dreary person but it does seem like my writings are FAR away from the funny...oh well. And this isn't a sad post or anything..just serious as usual..oh well again! This weekend a friend and I were talking of our frustrations in observing family members who seem to have a great deal of unfortunate stuff happening in their lives. Bad stuff, actually. And while some of the drama is certainly out of their control...some seems to be about the chaos they have CREATED for themselves...a series of bad choices...poor decisions that build and negatively affect so many people. My friend was wisely speaking of seeking to find a sense of contentment, even in life's disappointments. I am so thankful that this life I am living (while not exactly what I would wish) does NOT contain very much "created chaos" as I named it...no real conflicts to speak of in important relationships, no disintegrated marriage and children that I have to attempt to raise on my own, no terrible financial debt, no self-inflicted sickness from poor lifestyle choices. This is not about self-righteousness...I am well aware that the ability to make decent choices comes from 1st having disciplined parents and then from the guidance of the Lord..but it is easy to find people who made a wrong turn somewhere along the way and are now living in the muck of chaos. And I think it's possible to have organization and a sense of calm...and sweet peace no matter what is happening around you. Better to save the drama and the energy for the REALLY bad stuff...things like illness and tragedy and pain that we have no control over. You know me...I can fly off the handle if caught in bad traffic:)...but I really am trying to develop the Godly discipline that enables me to have a sense of serenity whatever LIFE throws my way...and try NOT to create the messes for myself.
• Speaking of "the disciplines"...that is an area I would like to learn more of...things like meditating on Scripture (as my pastor is frequently admonishing us to do), fasting, self-denial, and the like...I am so weak and need much growth here. Tonight I was reading the article "Disorderly Disciplines" by a Jenell Williams Paris in this month's Christianity Today...so thought provoking! It is mostly geared to moms but I managed to glean some truth too:) Speaks to "the spiritual value of women's work" and here are the lines that caught me..."Social and family expectations often result in women negating the self before they've even formed the self....self-care is the inverse of asceticism, but it may be a feminine counterpoint to pride-crushing self-denial. When done for the right reasons, both self-denial and self-care are sanctifying." Wow! I want to live in a holistic way...not separating some things out as spiritual and the rest not really worthwhile...it all matters! And it's all valuable in the kingdom, I think. Read the article here (esp. you moms): http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2007/may/30.48.html (&BTW, this writer has a blog and some other really interesting looking articles.)

"The Faithful One"

I find no hope within to call my own
For I am frail of heart,
My strength is gone.
But deep within my heart
Is rising up a song
Here in the comfort of
The Faithful One

(refrain)
Faithful, faithful to the end
My true and precious Friend
You have been faithful, faithful
so faithful to me.

This beautiful song (Eaton/White) is from Selah...the rest of the lyrics are good, too. It has been encouraging to me this week...

Two Months:

This is ridiculous...2 posts in one day...but I noticed that today makes 2 months of blogging for me...not the biggest occasion in the world, and I don't really have any grand thoughts to mark the event. But here are some things I am learning in this blogging process...(again beware of overthinking!:)

• I am more private than I realized. It's great fun to "share" life together..but involves risk. Risk-taking can be hard, for good reasons. I guess this is a work in progress. Information and words are powerful...and what to disclose can be a tricky business. (esp. on the WWW)
• Blogging can be addictive...the need to check and check...or link and link to people's lives who really are not any of my business. Thankfully, the pull of the computer is seeming to lesson...so as in all things, the newness will probably wear off! And blogging can take up too much time..but truly, don't we all make the time to do what we want? I am aware that while blogging has challenged my spiritual life, it's all a facade if my "quiet times" are replaced by time in front of the computer.
• It's easy to pretend...competition can set in...who can be the "most real". While genuineness is certainly a worthy goal (obviously as compared to shallowness!) ...to me, there seems to be a fine line between sharing and a lack of appropriate boundaries...definitely hard to define. (This issue could be mine alone.)
• Blogging motivates one to more phone calling...at least if that "one" is yours truly! I find that in some cases I just need to hear the voice of the other person..to REALLY hash out a concern or idea that reading a blog has prompted. I think it has been a good thing that one of my closest friends is NOT a blogger...but is a reader. That has helped me keep a perspective on myself and on this whole crazy world in general.
• We are all vulnerable. Reading about your lives...no matter how happy they generally are (and aren't we a blessed group?)...certainly has reaffirmed to me that still no matter how things look on the surface, we are all struggling with similar fears and doubts...that's just life, I guess... and oh how we NEED each other...and need friends who point us to the Lord. So proud that most of the bloggers I've run into do not "gripe" or "celebrate flaws"...but still it's clear that even on our best days we are just dust...and require plenty of mercy!
• "Cliques" exist just as much in the adult world as in the adolescent years. Of course, I knew that already...but the blogging world has reminded me. I want to be careful...to be kind...and to not wear my feelings on my sleeve (so far so good!)
• I wonder if I will keep having something to say? I mean, really, how many opinions can one person have? Actually I'm not too worried about this!..I usually can spout off on just about anything...whether it makes any sense or not...but it will be interesting to see if this tired brain keeps churning!
• And...to end on a positive note...blogging, thus far...has enriched this little life of mine! (I hope I have not sounded negative; it's been a tiring, headachy day, and my extended family is struggling with the news of my uncle's illness. ) All in all, I am really enjoying connecting with friends in a different way and also establishing some new friendships. I am impressed by the loving hearts, creative skills, and deep thoughts that abound. (And so enjoy getting to peek in on all the gorgeous kiddos!:) I am so grateful for your patience and for your opening your lives to me. So...I say (with some fear and trembling): "Let's keep it up!"

Lemon Icebox Pie...because you asked!

*Please note: this pie contains raw eggs. It is recommended that pregnant women, elderly, young children and people with medical or immune problems do not consume dishes containing raw eggs. I have seen recipes where people cook it for 20 min. at 350degrees then add meringue and bake another 30 min. but we have never done it that way...just eaten it with the raw eggs, and I've never heard of any problems...but then again perhaps this pie is the source of alot of La.'s problems:) So...eat at your own risk!

INGREDIENTS
1 (9 inch) prepared graham cracker crust
1 (14 ounce) can sweetened condensed milk
3 egg yolks
1/2 cup lemon juice
3 egg whites
5 teaspoons white sugar
DIRECTIONS
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
In a medium mixing bowl beat together condensed milk, egg yolks, and lemon juice. Pour mixture into graham cracker crust.
In a separate glass or metal mixing bowl, beat egg whites with sugar until stiff peaks form. Spread evenly on top of lemon filling.
Brown in preheated oven (or under broiler, but watch carefully!!) just until meringue is set and golden. Keep pie refrigerated.

Mothers & Others...

• 1st...it's been fun making the different recipes: tonight I am making Tara's chik. squares...last night it was Heather's muffins... except I absentmindedly put in about 50xs too much coffee...still good!! For Mother's Day, I am making chicken with artichokes and sundried tomatoes, couscous, and (mom's favorite) La. Lemon Ice-box pie...if you've never had that..poor you!
• There has been some talk of a girl's trip...sounds fun! I just ran across a new place that sounds ideal to me...but not very practical. Click on my Asbury Society link and then onto Titus Women...they are sponsoring a women's conference at a place called "Epworth By the Sea" near Savannah, Ga. (obvious Wesley connection) It looks like a wonderful conference and place to be. We may try to visit there as a family so I will check it out. And...as there's also been talk of wedding ideas...if anybody finds a good guy, tell him to meet me in Georgia...this looks like an awesome place for a destination wedding!:) ( Joking!!!)
• Finally, I feel so blessed to have my precious Mom with us for Mother's Day. Having a realistic view of the fragility of life helps you appreciate the times you are able to spend together. We are so thankful that Mom retains her personality and beautiful presence even amidst suffering..the core being of who our mothers are is what really matters...not what they "do" for us. I am honored and blessed by her life...and by so many other strong women I've known. Other women on my mothering list include Sue Feazell who I am missing this year, my grandmothers & aunts and the Stanga sisters. My grandmothers were both amazing women...both godly, one a minister...I truly believe that their prayers strengthen my family to this day. And that list also includes you sweet girls who are working so hard at your mom-skills: I believe you're succeeding! I love the following lyrics by Keen/Taff:

These Are The Women I Come From

They are faces in photographs

Heads all held high

Not afraid to look life in the eye

They were women with backbone

Keepers of the flame

With a spirit that even hard times couldn't tame

And I know this same blood is in me

And I meet their gaze one by one

Eyes strong and clear

I still feel them near...

These are the women I come from

the faith that sustained them is bred in my bones

I know what I'm made of and where I belong

'Cause these are the women, survivors each one

they weren't always easy, but loving and strong

God's life force inside them is still going on

'Cause these are the women I come from.

Getting away...

Today my Dad had appointments and worked at home. So he and I were able to have breakfast out together (had cousins come stay w/Mom)...really a treat. Then I was able to spend most of this afternoon "getting away" on my own. Nothing big, just some uninterrupted shopping and down time at Barnes and Nobles. I think sometimes I forget what it is to be "carefree"...not to worry every second or think of taking care of someone else. It's become so normal and I barely notice it...until free time reminds me. Today I felt for a little while like a weight was off my shoulders...just being still, quiet, alone...looking out the big glass windows and taking time to notice the world...not rushing, always one step ahead of myself. I could almost feel my brain calming down...realizing how much I need this. But also realizing honestly that I could have this feeling of calm more...could reach out more to my Source of strength. It's easy to talk about "the joy of the Lord" but harder (at least for me) to always access it. I want to do that better. I know that caregiving has unique challenges (and I truly wouldn't trade the privilege of being with my Mom)... but I bet this is a universal emotion...and while it's true that "It's nice to be needed" (to reference the Anne of Avonlea movie)....it's also nice to not be needed...at least for the afternoon.

• great fun to finish spending my Christmas gift card from Kayla on Rick Steves Austria/Germany guidebook. (thanks K!) And to get to listen to the newest Allison Krauss CD...definitely will plan to buy that at some point..she's even singing an old Don Williams tune..beautiful!

Blackberry Dumpling Cobbler

I'm feeling strongly tempted to write a blog entitled: "Things I Do Not Recommend"...however I think that would be quite inflammatory and dangerous, so I will discipline myself and NOT do so! (at least for now) Instead, I share this great new recipe I made this weekend for the 1st time...really good w/ice cream (low fat, of course!) (I halved it...and you could use frozen peaches instead...not sure about fresh berries)

• Blackberry Dumpling Cobbler

1. Bring 2 (16oz) pkgs. frozen blackberries, 1 1/3 cups sugar, and 1/4 cup butter to a boil over med. heat, until butter is melted and sugar dissolved. Remove from heat.
2. Beat 3 (8oz) pkgs. low-fat cream cheese with 2/3 cups sugar until fluffy. Then beat in 2/3 cups milk until smooth. Stir in 2 1/4 cups all-purpose baking mix (I used low-fat bisquick) and 3/4 cup uncooked oatmeal.
3. Spread 2/3 of Biquick mixture in sprayed 9 x 13 dish; spoon blackberry mixture on that, then dollop remaining B. mixture over blackberries.
4. Bake at 350 degrees until golden brown. Enjoy!!

Recommendations*

This is a follow-up from Julia's idea...will not be an exhaustive list..and I'm sure in the future more will be added. (And have already listed quite a few favorites in my profile.) A comment before starting: as I've thought on doing this, it has occurred to me that most of my most influential books were discovered at least several years ago. Does this say I need to start broadening my reading choices now? The truth is that I have and will always be a reader..usually have about 3 or 4 going at once. The problem w/that is that I also have the tendency to not finish things!! This makes me feel a little stupid and undisciplined. Another issue is that some things I've read make for great reading but not necessarily great recommendations. Finally, a major truth is that right now I am just very tired much of the time...it's easier to veg. out rather than really challenge my mind with complex reading...the risk in that is stagnation and lack of real growth. So...this process (and even blogging itself) has increased my awareness in these areas and I plan to address them...not trying to overkill, just be honest!

• The Ragamuffin Gospel (Brennan Manning) while not agreeing w/everything theologically, this book shakes up any vestiges of legalism and points toward the beautiful grace of God. I'm currently rereading this.
• The Wounded Healer everything written by Henri Nouwen is amazing. This was the 1st book of his that I read...and more than just about anything shaped my views of God's redemption of the brokenness and wounds in each life to truly minister to others. Also think every person in any type of ministry and Christian college should read his In The Name of Jesus on leadership issues. So many people are adopting a business model in church leadership...I can't think that is what was intended and challenge you to pick up this little, quickly read book to shape your church views. Very similar to the old-fashioned methods my grandparents used in pastoring, but somehow that's becoming a lost art.
• I'm Lonely Lord, How Long (Marva Dawn) This book speaks so well to "singleness" issues, but so much more. I was just challenged last night by some quotes from her on worship that P. Bishop posted, and I believe she has some books on children's issues as well. Also on this topic An Uncommon Correspondence (George/Masson) which I've already commented on.
• Lament for a Son (Nicholas Wolterstorff) My friends the McCalls gave me this book the 1st weekend Mom was in the hospital. It is, hands down, the best and most honest book I've read on grief issues.
• A Beautiful Mind great book & movie on mental illness.
• A Wrinkle in Time trilogy. (Madeleine L'Engle) Please make sure your children read these!! All of her writing (children and adult) is great!
• Rick Steves If you are not able to watch him on PBS, find his books/DVDs/website/NPR radio. He is incredible on travel "how-to" on a budget...so exciting! I checked out his guide to Italy and brought it with me there...best thing to have in another country!
• Selah: The Duet's Album
• Diet Coke Plus great taste and extra vitamins...yep, I'm easily conned!:)
• Ben & Jerry's Coffee Heath Bar Crunch Enough said!!!

Hope ya'll enjoy this little list and that it points you to something new!