Resting...

By nature, I do not think I am what would be considered a "restful" person. I think too much...worry too much...I'm easily "riled up" and passionate about things I believe. And present circumstances have not necessarily improved these tendencies...(not excusing myself here....but I also know enough about the brain and longterm stress to understand some of this "goes with the territory"....not quite sure how to address this, but attempting to manage as possible.) I overponder issues...and overthink relationships....what will the next step be? You can see how all of this could be just a little exhausting!
I've been thinking about this need for more of a spirit of restfulness in my life. (And yes, I do say more....not to paint the picture too darkly, there are considerable times of rest in my spirit...my tendencies are not necessarily my practice!! But even in the last few days, so aware of how far I fall from the general goal I am striving to meet here!!) I need more rest....more purposeful resting in the Goodness of the Lord...less relying on Self...more reliance on my Fountain of Strength and Calm.

Rest....for my exhausted body
Rest...for my racing mind
Rest...i can't control others' interest, responses, or choices

(can hardly manage my own!)
Rest...when my "stuff" is not easily perceived or welcomed
Rest...when I feel inadequate and invisible
Rest...i can't predict or presume the future
Rest...in waiting

Rest...depending on grace, not perfection

Rest...to see life clearly;to offer hope with confidence

Rest...to not run from failure; but embrace freedom

I have kept rereading these words from Dennis Kinlaw that somehow apply to these fractured thoughts (I think!): "I am convinced that there are some things we learn through failure that we could never learn through success. We can never be adequete witnesses until we have failed at some point, because the majority of people to whom we will minister will know what failure is. No person will ever be an adequete shepherd of souls (a Sunday School teacher, a mother, a neighbor, or a pastor) without having known the bitter spots in life. If we are not willing to face the Cross in our own lives, we limit our ability to glorify Jesus. ..... There is a power in the Cross that can set us free from the tyranny of self-interest that either controls or contaminates our lives. If we let Him set us free, we can relax and rest in Him-no longer driven to strive for what we desire for ourselves. We will find that His desires become ours. That oneness is the real freedom."

(from This Day With The Master)

And the words of this old hymn have called to me....to remember my Source...to rest in Him.

"Sweetly Resting"

(James/Bently)

In the rifted Rock I’m resting;
Safely sheltered, I abide.

There no foes nor storms molest me,

While within the cleft I hide.

Refrain
Long pursued by sin and Satan,

Weary, sad, I longed for rest.

Then I found this heav’nly shelter,

Opened in my Savior’s breast.
Refrain
Peace which passeth understanding,

Joy the world can never give,

Now in Jesus I am finding;

In His smiles of love I live.
Refrain
In the rifted Rock I’ll hide me

Till the storms of life are past;

All secure in this blest refuge,

Heeding not the fiercest blast.
Refrain

Now I’m resting, sweetly resting,
In the cleft once made for me.
Jesus, blessèd Rock of Ages,
I will hide myself in Thee.

(When I googled this hymn, I discovered that Mary D. James was active in the Wes­ley­an Ho­li­ness movement in the mid-1800's. This hymn was translated into German by the Mennonite community and became something like the "Amazing Grace" of that tradition...interesting.)

Georgia On My Mind...

It's been a quiet Memorial Day here....we did make sure to watch the National Memorial Day concert....always good to remember and honor the sacrifices made...
Mostly, we've "recuped" from our trip to Ga. last week. Mom and I had a good visit with my Aunt Carolyn. Thanks for your prayers....I appreciate it more than I can say.

I had given Aunt Carolyn this quote as a gift a couple of years ago...jotted it down while there: "Family: We carry generations of tenderness, legacies of hope and faith and courage. We are powerful in that we know how to love." There's nothing else like the love and the complex relationships we share with family...valuable and worth maintaining. It was very important to spend time with this special aunt...

We mainly were in middle Ga. with my aunt....but took a really fun day trip over to Savannah. How many of ya'll like Paula Deen? We are not over-the-top fans but we do like her. We don't "get" the Food Network, but thanks to my dear Aunt Glynda we have gotten to enjoy many of her good cookin shows. (Thanks, Aunt Glynda!!:) To make a long story short: The main priest at the church where I work is Paula's brother-in-law. (pretty exciting stuff for our parish!!) Fr. Hank is a wonderful man and really has a way of communicating truth and connecting with folks. When he heard we were going to Ga., he offered to call us in reservations at The Lady & Sons restaurant. We had not completely decided to do that drive....but once Mom heard that offer, she thought it was a fine idea! We were given the VIP card, promptly seated at the front of the dining room, and thoroughly enjoyed our delicious lunch. (Sadly, we were not able to meet any family members.) It was fun!!!

I had never been to Savannah before, and really fell in love with that beautiful city...definitely hope to return. With limited time,we mostly just drove around seeing the wonderful squares. I was intent on finding the church John Wesley pastored for a short time during his time in America. It was a privilege to see this part of our heritage.


Christ Church


The John Wesley statue in Reynolds Square.


Me and John Wesley (i couldn't resist!)


Unrelated pics:

On Mother's Day...


Uncle Willard, me, and Mr. James Ray...not a great pic of me but I so enjoy these two men. Uncle Willard is a WWII veteran, an artist, and one of my heroes. (He made the violin he is holding.) He loves to organize "hoe-downs" for the three of us. Both of these gentlemen are amazing!


With fellow altos at our concert...altos rock! With those deep words I will end. (don't worry, there are plenty of heavy words around the bend...)

Images...

...the images from around the world have had an apocalyptic flair the past few days...so much pain and suffering...so many people hurting. Yesterday as I rode in the car for awhile I listened to a long npr report that followed a young Chinese couple's search for their 2 year old child and his grandparents....all three were found dead and buried....the grandpa was holding the little boy and his wife was holding onto her husband's shoulder even in death. Heartbreaking!...the reporter was crying and so was I listening in the car. It certainly makes our self-righteous
self-focus....and gripes about our own daily hardships...and ESPECIALLY the money-sucking circus of this campaign season seem so terribly small in comparison!!

And yet...the small details (even complaints) of our little lives DO matter...our strivings to be "all we can be" definitely matter...and yes, even the mindless workings of a democratic election do have some value. (How very lucky we are to live here....not, say, China or Myanmar when a natural disaster strikes. This article by Daniel Henninger in the Wall Street Journal speaks to that reality: Democracies Don't Let People Die.

...still, it is important to maintain a sense of perspective about our lives. To "let our hearts be broken" with the things that surely break the heart of God. To look compassionately upon the struggles of others...to pray for Redemption and Salvation in these situations...to help as we can even when we feel helpless. And that couple whose image is burned upon my heart reminds me how alike we all are...in our need for Purpose and Comfort and the Love of others....how alike we all are as we reflect His image.

Mother's Day...

(my beautiful Mom and me...1973...a tangible record of how our attachment began...I am so blessed out of all the Moms in the world to have this one!!)

Strawberries...and Links

It's the end of strawberry season here...and I've finally gotten around to making some jam...in time for Mother's Day (as Mom has been very concerned that this get done!) Above is the before and after! A domestic goddess I am not! but I am pretty happy with how this project turned out!

* Important information from Christianity Today on the Myanmar Cyclone and specifically the work of World Vision. Much prayer and support is needed for the people affected by this overwhelming tragedy.

*Mark Galli: "A Deeper Relevance" (in the current Christianity Today...on why many evangelicals are attracted to Liturgy)

*Harold Martin: Speaking about Missions This was back in January and I've been meaning to post it. I can't vouch for the entire service (if I remember correctly, Brent and the Grant girls sing after Harold and that's really good) but I thought Harold did a superb job and it's definitely worth listening to!

*Peggy Noonan: (good stuff on all the recent crazy election happenings!!) "Damsel in Distress"


*OK....this isn't exactly a link but I am highly recommending the new Masterpiece version of Sense and Sensibility!!...definitely the "thinking girl's" version. Thanks to my dear friend Jen, I was finally able to watch Part II (since I was away from home when it aired w/ a nonworking recorder)...and loved it so much I used a Bday gift card to purchase it at Barnes and Noble. It is wonderful!!

Observations...

Another Monday...another post...another business trip away for my Dad so life is "interesting" here (glad he's almost home...thankful I've been a little more calm this time). I've just finished a very "musical" weekend...my university/community choir performed our Spring concert yesterday at St. Joseph Abbey. It is a magnificent place! I so enjoy being there (perhaps I'm a little too caught up in the romance of it all since I've been reading Kathleen Norris's The Cloister Walk). The highlight of our concert was Faure's Requiem Mass...soooo beautiful. The orchestral part is gorgeous. The final movement (In Paridism) apparently ends differently then most Requiems and describes being ushered into Paradise...welcomed by Saints and Angels. The sopranos sing a floating theme, while the rest of the chorale supports them....singing "Jerusalem"...difficult to describe but I found the mental image of that truth absolutely wonderful...tearmaking! What a Promise!

Just a few observations:
-I know it's a matter of "taste" but I honestly think people so limit their "experience" if they fail to access "real" classical music. The Latin and formality is well worth the trouble for the enduring richness of both the words and the music.
-not exactly sure what makes an "Abbey" an "Abbey"....but I think Protestants need more of them!:) (also intrigued by the Catholic seminary/monastery system....I can become a bit annoying when at these places as I ask alot of questions trying to figure it all out! I might as well join a convent, at any rate....JUST joking!!)
-can't help but love the incense....Protestants should start using it again:)...(OK....before you email me...I KNOW there are real reasons not to use these "rituals"...but please, have we not created new, mostly inferior ones in our own churches?!)
-I always have a good time at St. Joseph's bookstore....but managed not to buy anything this weekend. I was drawn to this title Puritas Cordis...an undivided heart. One line from the book's description, "the act of communion with God is one which engages the whole person and calls upon all the interior energies." I've been thinking on this subject recently...the need for a heart wholly committed to and transformed by God. We Wesleyans are supposed to understand this....but (maybe it's just me) I realize my need for greater understanding. I sense that this understanding is not one that can be defined by my own or others' often weak opinions but by the gentle calling and inspiration of the Holy Spirit.
-In this mindset (and to assure my gentle readers that I really was not "all things Catholic" this weekend!), my good pastor preached from Malachi yesterday...about the need for truly reverencing God. The prophet was speaking at a time not very different from ours...to people not unlike us. There was great spiritual apathy, social injustice, moral decay, and defiled worship. Then and now, we are called to live seriously, to return to the God who with His consuming righteousness provides great mercy and love. To those who fear Him and meditate on His Name, He promises "They shall be mine...on the day that I make them my jewels." (3:17) That Assurance Shines Out to me....and makes me want to be more like Him.