So...a great subject...right? And it came from a lofty place: the promos for BW's interview with Patrick Swazy. The poor man has very serious cancer and was expressing his lack of tolerance for a lot of "bull" in his life. I know what he means.....
The farther I get on this journey (both of long term crisis/illness and of faith itself) the less stomach I have for very much "bull". Just can't take it. Overly silly things like excessive self-interest, self-righteousness, disrespectful attitudes, relationship politics, or game playing. Time is too short...there are too many real needs...just too much that deserves my energy to waste time frittering it among the weeds.
My good pastor has been admonishing us at the start of the year to evaluate our spiritual progress. An important thing to do. I am realizing that what may look like progress to one may look pretty different to another. And...what may look like regression could very well be progress. If I am truly progressing in a God-honoring direction, won't there actually be a falling away...a leaving behind....of some of the things that might have seemed pretty important in the past?
I want to know the difference. I want to hold onto what is important and let go of what is not. I want this year, this life to reflect Christ. Not a flawed perception of Him...not the perceptions set by others. I want to realize anew that it is His Strength that is perfect...mine never will be. My efforts are small in the light of His grace. I want to live and better share that grace (even let it cover what I label as "bull"!)
As I have pondered these admittedly scattered thoughts tonight (somewhere along the way they DO make sense to me!!) I read the following quote from Jenell Williams Paris on her blog. It doesn't necessarily match exactly with what I've said here, but I like it alot!
- "Churches organize people, funds, help, and childcare, and it's great when they do it well. But they also organize our identities, encouraging us to perceive ourselves and to project a public self that is (among other things) saved or damned, good or bad, or on the path or straying. That kind of organizational discourse is not helpful -- a person could be in good standing within the discourse yet be rotten in their heart, and vice versa (the wine and the wineskins). A person could spend their entire spiritual journey positioning and repositioning herself in a temporal social discourse. Even if the words are big ones like "Christian", "saved", "moral", or "sanctified", they're still just words. I want to pursue the God beyond discourse, the experience of the truth to which those big words refer. I can, and I will, but how much more wonderful if church could support the journey......Maybe we should be clear about what we're trying to do in church -- when we're organizing people and resources, let's do it well. But when it comes to personal identity, maybe Jesus' admonition to judge not (Sermon on the Mount) could first be applied to the self. We need to live our lives, and the living will be so much more clear and joyful if judgments are released. The pursuit of truth and morality could be so much more pure if one were not at the same time pursuing eternal self-interest."
*(and just to be clear, i do feel positive about the spiritual leadership of my own church...but I like how she assesses spiritual games in general and the inherent risks...yes, I'm paranoid!)
