"You can be kind and true and fair and generous and just, and even merciful, occasionally. But to be that thing time after time, you have to really have courage."
(Maya Angelou)
(i love this quote!)
(i love this quote!)
it's been busy here....the days are winding down on what has been a very busy and demanding season...
there's another bend in the road....and i find myself doing some evaluating on how i'm doing....and of all that has been done....i see the hand of God and of Great Faithfulness...
some hard choices have been made: to choose faith over fear, grace over bitterness, perseverance over sheer exhaustion and giving up...Hard choices are still to come...
through a combination of convoluted circumstances and providential leading, i have discovered new strengths in new roles....new "skills" for a resume that seems to be doing me little good *smile*...new confidence in focusing on lasting truths vs. dancing to the whims of others...
i'm reading a book called This Is A Soul, The Mission of Rick Hodes (Marilyn Berger) that my dear friend Susanna recently loaned me....
the timing couldn't have been better! i won't ever do the "big" things that Rick Hodes is doing to change the lives of countless needy people...but his story challenges me to better value the intrinsic worth of the individuals in my life....no matter how much i believe it and know it, i keep needing the reminder that every single act of love and faithfulness we do matters...
the messages of "not enough" are pretty loud (and pretty universal)...even when i know better...
i'm trying to understand some things about my life so that i can move forward in a positive way. At this stage, i find myself more and more put off by emphasizing the grand or flashy (i don't really believe that has anything to do with my spirituality! as much as it has to do with my personality and experience)...."grand and flashy" seem to be what's popular....and that mindset subtlety affects our thinking, i think:) ....
so it's not that i'm worried about the "smallness" of my life...and i'm not really experiencing selfesteem bothers
(i think i have a fairly clear picture of what and who i am (and of who and what i am not!) ~ it's just trying to understand how all the components of my life fit together....how to use what i have and what i know to do a little good with the little bit of time that i have (hats off to my Vision friends for having that line stuck in my head!)
All that to say, i am learning...how to walk in "holy courage"...how to face new heart places....how to own the choices i have made within the situations i have found myself, how to remember that faithfulness has paved the journey and will continue to....
dear members of my very limited readership:) will you help me pray for open doors, for direction, for discernment? i don't think there is any "magic" in our prayers...i still need to take initiative for movement to happen in my life! but the prayers of friends are always valuable! thank you....
