Sunday Thoughts

Reflecting tonight on good, good words of truth I've heard today...on "maintaining spiritual renewal"...that mix between self-discipline and self-abandonment to the work of the Spirit. There almost seems to be a conflict between "I Can Do All Things" and "Without Me You Can Do Nothing"...until you add the "Through Christ" part. It's that interplay between the two identities...the coming together, that is the crucial point! (and what an amazing concept to have this exchange with the Triune God of the universe!) Then, to relate in this manner to the others in our lives...to have those relationships governed, changed, blessed by the Life that is within us....what a difference that should make! (Bonhoeffer speaks of this...but can't remember exactly what he says...read years ago...believe me, I know I'm in way over my head here!!)

I'm wanting to be careful to not be self-reliant...to truly understand what I am more and more realizing that there is no amount of "spiritual work" I can do on myself that will ultimately change me....there must be the work of the Spirit for any change to occur at all...or for any attempts at changing to be worthwhile! This is not about throwing out self-discipline....it has to exist or the entire conversation is moot! but all earthly "efforts" are in vain (and seem sadly similar to pop-psychology) without the transforming, perfecting Love of which I am wholly incapable in my own strength. (Again I say..."in way over my head"....any thoughts?)

I did a rare thing today...sang a solo!! (not a happy but unavoidable choice..much prefer accompanying or singing parts...somewhat survived!) Somehow these words apply, I think:

The Gift Of Love

Though I may speak with bravest fire,And have the gift to all inspire,

And have not love, my words are vain,

As sounding brass, and hopeless gain.
Though I may give all I possess,And striving so my love profess,

But not be given by love within,The profit soon turns strangely thin.
Come, Spirit, Come, our hearts control,

Our spirits long to be made whole.Let inward love guide every deed;

By this we worship, and are freed.

(Hal Hopson)

Taking a breath...

Today I am finally catching my breath after a couple of busy weeks....company, "revival", therapy and neurologist appointments (one complicated by Horrible weather and me spazing out from drinking too much coffee!!!)...so it's nice to feel a bit calmer today.:) (sigh) I AM freaking out some that the Europe trip is so close....(we'll be leaving Nov. 5th!!) I am feeling unprepared...but calming myself down by planning & organizing very well this week and next...that includes getting caught up on laundry, etc. and trying to get some meals prepared for my parents...feeling a little guilty to leave them, but reminding myself of the reality that's it's only for a few days, and I REALLY don't think their world will completely fall apart without me:) Do say a little prayer that all will go well. BTW, I did find shoes for the trip...Naturalizers...with great soles and cool little zippers. They're not "perfect" (so few things in life are....) but pretty good, so I will settle for that.

1. Here are some rambling things that have been on my mind (beware!):
2. 1) Last weekend was pretty great here in LA...we elected a new governor...(on the 1st time around so a run-off is thankfully avoided)....Bobby Jindal is a good guy & hopefully will be good for the state...and I must mention that I also voted for Sammy Kershaw who was running for Lt. Governor...isn't that a hoot?!!...he didn't win. Anyway, the good results almost makes me want to reinvest in politics in general....I say "almost" as I'm pretty cynical across the board...just do not believe that is where we should be investing too much of our energy, thinking, or hopes. At any rate, here is a great recent Brooks article about Mike Huckabee...interesting (could he be "my guy"?). And just because this made me laugh, here is some commentary on the recent LA elections. (also must note that BOTH The Saints and LSU won their games this weekend...yay!!)
3. 2) So enjoying listening to Christmas music and singing it in choir. Esp. loving both the old and new Barbara Streisand projects....and the Evening in December's that I now have on CD's....yay! ("Blue Christmas" on the new David Phelps is awesome...borrowed that one from a kid in church...)
4. 3) One of things Dorinda and I did while she was here was look through about 15 yrs. of photo albums...HSBC days on...THAT will shake you up a little! (I didn't make her do it...she seemed to want to..maybe an only child, obsessive thing?) Can't believe it's been so many years!! I started noticing a trend in the albums...a record of important family rituals...so intregal to one's value system/personhood...but also the amount of "trouble" some of us have gone through to get together...stay connected...such fun memories...and obviously, alot of other things were happening in life at the same time, but those "meetings" seemed special enough to document...and remember. I want to do better staying in-touch with the people I care about...that sometimes requires effort...and in some ways the blogging world has been good for that. Heard a country song recently with this line: "Don't Blink...A 100 years go faster than you think". Can't help but identify with that after this picture marathon....makes me want to really emphasize the "important things"...things of lasting value...of character..not get hung up on the unimportant.
5. 4) Finally, I am including one more link here a really great CT article on doing church in this complicated culture. If you're still reading these convoluted thoughts, you must love me a little:)...sure wish I could be w/the lucky folks getting together at YC...oh well....another time, another place.

Pretty Paper...

No....this will not be a post giving accolades to the ever-great-one-Willie....(even though I do love that song, and am soooo happy to be listening to Christmas music in general...but I digress)....these are actually fairly private musings that perhaps I shouldn't share...(guess I can always delete)....

A few days ago, my dilemma was: What type of paper does one use to write an apology note? Now that's a tricky one! The trickier thing was the note itself.....or perhaps the courage needed to follow through with what my heart knew it needed to do....for a variety of reasons...but mostly to maintain the "peace that passeth understanding" that is so precious. It must be guarded! Even if that means taking the blame...grovelling....repenting....

This particular thing had been coming for awhile....(we usually know what we need to do...if we're honest...it's just doing it!) but also has coincided with some "close" ministry from my pastor and then our revival this week with "Pastor Pierpoint." I have no lofty theological references....no remarkable story of reconciliation....and no dramatic emotional upheaval to report here: but what I know is that if I desire the blessing of God in my soul, I must not hesitate to obey...to respond...to be humble...and to be grateful for His faithfulness. (By the way, the paper was very easy to find.)

Friends & Fall

(I was feeling quite friendly when starting this post...but it has taken me "awhile" to get the pics. to work!!!! Frustratingly infuriating!!! Maybe it's a good thing we are in revival this week!!!)

It actually felt a little like this fall this past weekend (wonderful!) and it was oh so great to have Dorinda here for a visit. She "lit in" to a couple of projects needing a helping hand (the garage & the backyard flowerbed) and did an amazing job in a little bit of time. (I mostly stood around and watched.) It was truly a blessing!! And we also had plenty of time to play!:

At a plantation and with a sweet older man (Mr. Louis) who was so proud to show us his acres of satsumas, oranges, and sugarcane...he made Dorinda very happy by giving her a sample to take home...(we're pretty sweet here in LA:) :


In the French Quarter...had a great time eating (of course), listening to jazz, and seeing some interesting art:


With my parents on Sunday:


It was so good to be with a dear friend...someone whose heart truly understands...and whose spirit's goal is to uplift. Our conversations were challenging and diverse (& late into the night!)...and helpful to us both (I trust) as we seek to learn and grow together on this journey. This song seemed very appropriate to me as I've thought of the weekend....what greater joy could any of us have then to show and share the "true riches" of life!

Will you love Jesus more

When we go our different ways?

When this moment is a memory

Will you remember His face?

Will you look back and realize,

You sensed His love more than you did before?

I pray for nothing less than for you to love Jesus more.

(Phillips Craig and Dean)

Good Things...

A good thing happened today...I was able to have some professional cleaners in to do some house work for me...that is worthy of a celebration in my book!!!!! That luxury (and also at least weekly massages) would definitely be near the top of my list of what I would do if I were a rich woman! So happy that this house is the cleanest it's been in awhile...I have been working hard myself the last several days, but the short time these ladies were here today was icing on a very clean cake! All of this has been in preparation of my dear friend Dorinda's visit...she comes Thurs. and that is another good thing!!! Company coming is always a good motivation to get things done that one has been neglecting. If any others of you have a hankering to come see me, come now while the house looks good!! After I finish up the film in my camera this weekend, I will post some ever popular accumulating pictures.

Since I'm a little tired of thinking deep thoughts (do not rejoice too quickly...they are never far away...) and I actually enjoyed doing the tag thing & kept coming up with more things, I believe I will post 7 more. Yes, this is surely self- focused but not in a "fleshly" way, I hope. Maybe these are "good things", maybe not. Ya'll have a great week!

• * I've been to Europe twice and this time next month will be in Austria/Germany!! So excited! (such a blessing)
• * I've lived in 6 states...La., Mi., Fl., Pa., Va., and Ky. Hopefully might live in some more! I've enjoyed it all, and appreciate learning different regional differences...also enjoy assessing different accents. (And totally randomly, it's surprising the times you can fit in the singing of the Mi. State Song.)
• * I truly appreciate the importance of "roots" and family...and so realize the importance of having a comforting home (although I could do w/o the cleaning)...even without my "own" family, think it's so important to create a "place to be."
• * I am not really a fan of soundtracks...just a preference not a "belief" but I do think it generally limits vs. enhances church music. (Aren't you glad to have that opinion!:) (Very inconsistently or maybe just practically, I do not mind them for cantatas.)
• * I go around and around with my Dad on political issues...I'm sure you can believe that I don't mind a good argument, but by his mild-mannered demeanor, you probably would doubt it of him. Cease your doubting! (and it definitely aggravates him when my Mom and I listen to npr!) While we agree on the "big stuff", diverse opinions can be a good thing.
• *I can be "a bit" detail oriented...a planner...obsessive some might say...but at the same time can be very inattentive to details and very much a procrastinator....just one of the many wild swings of character due (i think) to being an only child.
• *I have a little scar on my forehead...from "playing" in the church as a young child and literally "hitting the altar". Had stitches and everything, thus ending any chance of being a world-famous supermodel. Oh,Well.

Paying Attention

I've been thinking on the subject of "reaching out" for awhile now...(since reading Kayla's post on discipleship and Heather's request for prayer for the many heartbreaking stories they are confronted with in Columbia.) And that's the word that has really stood out to me...heartbreaking. That's exactly how we should view the effects of sin that infect the world as we know it...it's overwhelming....must break the heart of God. What can any one of as just one person do to make a difference? My thoughts have not been revolutionary or even "new"....but they have been inwardly directed. I am finding that it IS possible to make a difference in the lives of others just by paying attention! It's the little things...(making a phone call, helping with a practical need, remembering some detail of their story, listening even when I'd rather be tuning out) ....that matter. Obviously, not big things, but a start. And I've found that God is faithful to prompt me about specific ways I can connect with others. Like I said, this isn't profound stuff....you'd think I'd know it already....I even have the fancy degree to show I "know how" to care. Frankly, as hard as that career may have been and as much as I miss it, in some ways assuming that prescribed role was easier ...there was a sense of self-protection and clear definitions in that "position"....(Ms. Kim the therapist). But who am I when not able to hide behind "boundaries" or an office door? Am I really concerned about the needs of others...and if I do not shake myself out of complacency...out of my own routines & problems, how will I fulfill my part (not someone else's) of the Great Commission? Do I see the "poor" around me?....(so many definitions of that term, but I digress)...and when I do, how do I react?

Lest you think I have really gotten myself on a guilt trip here:)...rest assured, I haven't....I am VERY able to live "under the mercy" and can readily find reasons enough in my own little life to stay very busy. I DO believe in healthy boundaries...and saying NO!....and I STRONGLY believe in self-care/self-preservation/whatever you want to call it. But I am also unaware of any Biblical wisdom that gives you a "pass" for looking out for the needs of others just because your own plate is full or even difficult. I want to balance all of these concerns...and know that only with the help of the Lord (not self-reliance or self-important ideas) is that possible.

As luck would have it, recent church calendar Scripture readings have been from the Book of Amos (that will definitely shake you up!) and from Luke 16. So I'll close with my spin on the very excellent homilies of Frs. Ed and Hank:
The Luke 16 passage asks us several questions:
1) What do we do for the Lazarus's among us?
2) Do we really welcome them into our lives?
3) Do we resist the temptation to judge them as "lazy"...or search for the answers of why they feel so hopeless?
4) Can we recognize and respond to the innate dignity and personhood each Lazarus possesses?

And, two final truths from the passage:
1) The rich man was condemned for not paying attention (to Lazarus, his own spiritual needs and his family's)...not for the other aspects of his wealth.
2) Jesus welcomes and receives us to His table of plenty....despite our poverty of spirit, our many limitations, & our vast need for His transforming grace ....surely we are called to do the same for others!