my home, my heart...

At Home

(Caryll Houselander)

~"We all know persons who are exaggeratedly house-proud, who concentrate on the neatness, cleanliness, beauty of their house, to the exclusion of its comfort. Their house is not a home, nothing must ever be left about, out of place. To come in with muddy shoes is a crime; it is a crime to disarrange the cushions. In such a house one can neither work nor rest; one is never at home, 

because it is not a home.

~There are many people who are 'soul-proud' in the same way. They spend their whole time cleaning up their soul, turning out the rubbish, dusting and polishing. Like the house-proud person, they become nervous, tired. There is nothing left in them to give, for they have wasted themselves on the silver, the curtains, the ornaments.

Christ wants to be at home in your soul. He will not go away and leave you if the house is chilly and uncomfortable; He loves you too much to leave you, but how often, how tragically often, He must say nowadays: 'The Son of Man has nowhere to lay His head.'

~Christ asks for a home in your soul, where He can be at rest with you, where He can talk easily to you, where you and He, alone together, can laugh and be silent and be delighted with one another.

All this may seem daring, but it is true;
it is the meaning of the Incarnation."

(This excerpt is offered in a book called A Child in Winter, writings by Caryll Houselander collected by Thomas Hoffman.)

i think maybe it's meant to be that i understand the subject of the Incarnation a little better this year. For someone who's been in church all of my life, i'm a bit amazed at how little i seem to understand it...i don't feel like a very good learner. but....
the Word Made Flesh...how can we really understand such a mystery?

a couple of days ago, i received this Houselander selection in my email. i cannot completely say how very much it speaks to me...this year...this week (with all it's decorating and Christmas busyness)....with all that is happening in my life...and as i observe so many troubling patterns. My heart is weary of self-luxurious, performing religion....of hearts turned inward rather than turned fully toward the Lord. I am tired of myself, even! Lord, preserve me from soul-pride!! protect me in a season, from a culture of "show"..... i realize how very much i need to live focused on being "at home" with Jesus.... 

Yesterday, my pastor spoke on the Incarnation...of the God who makes it possible for us to recover our losses...always loving, always redeeming, always restoring...
how amazing that this healing Savior comes into the weakness of who i am....and gives Himself so that i can completely be who He created me to be.

(and i saw this article in CT: such good insights...)

i'm overwhelmed that God came to dwell with man...
i'm anxious for His present reality in my heart, in my home....

i'm grateful for His peace....

"Peace on earth

I don't ever remember it

But I know peace

I have it here

In my home

Tonight.

Thanks."

(GLORIA GAITHER, 12/24/69)