Brownies and Christmas Randomness

Knock You Naked Brownies
1 package German chocolate cake mix (18.5 oz)
1 cup chopped nuts
1/3 cup + 1/2 cup evaporated milk-divided
1/2 cup melted butter
60 vanilla caramels unwrapped (one 14 oz package)
1 cup semisweet chocolate chips
In a large mixing bowl, combine dry cake mix, nuts, 1/3 cup evaporated milk and melted butter. Press half of the batter into the bottom of a greased 13x9x2 inch glass baking dish. Bake in a preheated 350 degree oven for eight minutes.In the microwave or top of a double boiler melt caramels with remaining 1/2 cup evaporated milk. When caramel mixture is well mixed, pour over baked layer. Cover with chocolate chips. Chill for about an hour or until the caramel is hard. Press the remaining batter on top of morsels. Return to oven and bake 28 minutes (or less for gooier brownies). Let cool before cutting. (Note: This recipe supposedly originated at the Salt Creek Restaurant in Breckenridge, Colorado. Servings: 24)
(I am finally posting this by popular demand...at least by dear Jen!:)
Not sure it would be a good thing for me to eat these and be knocked naked as I have been lavishly partaking of holiday goodies...and it will just be December tomorrow!:) Oh well, dieting can always be a new year's resolution!:)

It's been a little while since I've posted anything....frankly, I have been feeling quite a bit overwhelmed since returning from the trip...just a lot going on...while the Thanksgiving trip was good and thankfully my uncle was feeling somewhat better, it was not a restful time. And although I truly believe in the "comfort" found in Christmas music (have some thoughts rattling through my head on that topic for another post) on the other hand, steeping oneself in the oversentimentality of non-stop Christmas music can lead to somewhat gloomy results. So I have been focusing more on mostly religious Cd's (ie Steve Green, Steven Curtis Chapman, etc.) rather than "secular" ones. Perhaps there is a larger truth here...when we lesson the Christmas message and make it about ourselves, then mostly we are left with comparisons...selfdoubt...confusion. Looking to the Light makes everything more clear.
I've mostly finished the decorating....put out less this year and actually like it more! We've made some cookies this week w/friends and that is always something Mom really enjoys. And this Sunday is my holiday choral concert...really excited to sing in what should be a great event. So....that's "my deal" lately....hope ya'll are doing well!!

Other random holiday thoughts:
....do you think it would be kosher to send a Christmas letter that simply says..."things are pretty much the same..refer to last letter"? What a chore that can turn into!!! I do love both sending and receiving cards, and I imagine I will manage to come up with something acceptable (ie "positive") to send out.
....a group of us went to hear David Phelp's Christmas concert the other night....it was LOUD!!! (which means I am an old fogey!) And while he is a fantastically great singer and has top-notch musicians traveling with him, I do wish someone would have had some sense about balancing the sound. But he rocks on "Blue Christmas"...awesome!
....as I shared in an earlier blog, we are purposely having a "small" Christmas this year...it's amazing the pressure that has relieved...I hope to truly focus on the beauty of the season...including the Advent season...really appreciate the Gift we have been given.
....happily, I may soon be the proud poster of digital pictures...that is if I can figure out the digital camera I received in today's mail from my dear pseudo-brotherinlaw Harold (Kudos to him!!!). We shall see if I can function in this high-tech world.
....that's probably enough randomness...going this evening to what is billed as a European Christmas Market...I love stuff like that. Christmas Happiness to All of You!!

"I would maintain that thanks

are the highest form of thought,

and that gratitude is happiness

doubled by wonder."

(G. K. Chesterton)

Tomorrow we are going to TX for Thanksgiving...(to my uncle's)....

bringing along our fantabulous cornbread dressing and other stuff:)!

Even with the overwhelming amount of "sad news" lately,

the blessings that surround and uphold us are so very bountiful!

I trust that you and your families have a wonderfully blessed day!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Beautiful Neuschwanstein Castle...i think this might be my favorite pic. from the trip...captures the dreaminess and bittersweetness of this place.

St. Peter's Cemetery (Salzburg)

I like exploring cemeteries in general (sorry Dorinda, can't help it:) and this one was fascinating, esp. with the beautiful flowers placed for All Saint's Day....this was the model for the cemetery in Sound of Music.

This was one of my favorite spots in Salzburg...in the Mirabell Palace Gardens...in the "dwarf park" (modeled after real people who served the prince-archbishop in about 1600.)

Mozart

What I've Been Doing Since Getting Home:

...enjoying the La. weather! It's been pretty warm, but cool at nights, and the colors (such as they are) are lovely!
...Laundry!
...obsessively organizing my pictures..fun!
...getting things back in order in the house.
...appointments...
...listening to Christmas music:)
...sleeping in..getting caught up..i love to sleep!

...being stressed out over insurance issues...
I don't often write about the "trials" of caregiving and long term care issues (maybe because I doubt many will actually "get" it and mostly because I dislike having that be my whole identity....probably I should write about it more...might be cathartic) but let's just say I was greeted with a huge dose of reality when I arrived home from European fairyland. We have been expecting it for awhile but received the firm information that our particular insurance company will now cap All Physical Therapy at $2500 per year! If you don't understand what that means...it means about 10 sessions...maybe enough to actually help you if you break a toe or something. For longterm stroke/brain injury rehabilitation issues, this amount is a joke. But it's completely legal...no real recourse. Not based on medical research, doctor's orders, or individual needs. (Umm, folks we already have socialized health care!) The fact that Mom sees one of the leading stroke rehab. specialists in the world who certainly prescribes a different plan of treatment makes no difference whatsoever. And while we will certainly make some noise & some complaints, we are well aware that any real trouble could jeopardize Dad's job, so we mainly are powerless. (btw, your insurance is probably similar, you just don't realize it....alot of people have had this almost unbelievably low cap for awhile...and the whole system is contingent on whatever Medicare dictates...regardless if you're actually eligible for Medicare or not.)

Lots of details that I'm leaving out...much anger, disgust, and feelings of helplessness. Mainly I'm just tired of dealing with these issues...time for something "happy" to happen! There are options and different plans of actions we will take....all meaning more work and $$ on our part. Thankfully, we have always seemed to be able to find what it takes to care for Mom's needs...both practically and emotionally. This is not personal....nor is it part of any "master-plan" in my opinion...just a bit more of the "junk" that's often dealt out to the weakest in a society not run on principles of justice or compassion. I know this is not the biggest problem in the world, but in our little corner it feels quite large...please keep us in your prayers as we deal with these very overwhelming issues....it is a strength to have that support. (I plan to post more pics. tomorrow so that post should be happier:)

"Faith is the vision of the heart...it sees God in the dark as well as in the day." (unknown)

"The Lord is my light and salvation;whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; Of Whom shall I be afraid?" Psalms 27:1

Trip Reflections...

(with the "Munich Lion")

My thoughts are a bit hazy...but I do want to start sharing some reflections and pictures from my amazing trip. I returned "back to reality" last night....felt very happy to "be back home again" safely but feel soooo incredibly blessed and lucky to have seen and experienced some beautiful places. Andrea and I had a good, good time together...we were pretty good travelers and rather impressed ourselves by being able to navigate a confusing new culture (most of all the train system, really cool but tricky!)

Some scattered thoughts on the trip:

1) bringing a hat and gloves was the best thing I did to prepare...it was COLD and snowy. Still, it was all manageable and still able to see what we wanted to.

2) free tours in cities are the best...had a great one in Munich!! So fun!

3) totally enjoyed the camaraderie of meeting up with other travelers....an immediate bond and shared interest...struck up conversations on health care w/girl from England and the Kashmire conflict w/couple from India...interesting!

4) but also such a joy to feel the warmth from Germans/Austrians who were friendly and patient to answer my many questions and give directions. We have so much in common no matter where we're from!

5) NOT a fan of European concept of table service!! or of German coffee!!....I was very thrilled to find Starbucks in Munich's big city!! (felt very spoiled but happy!) Also, so aggravated with phone issues...the greatest stress for me was having a hard time getting in contact w/my parents. (& just one more...the way there seems to be smoking EVERYWHERE...awful!!)

6) churches, churches, churches everywhere!!!! I loved them all....obviously works of art and certainly draw one into worship....I believe that's the point?....but at the same time, such obvious indulgences in overspending, self-worship. I just hope all the energy that went into making those buildings also went into the lives of people.

7) truly amazing to walk the streets in Salzburg that Mozart walked....be even in the same rooms w/instruments he played. On the other extreme, a real honor to be at Dachau....truly "hallowed ground"...words cannot do it justice.

I would say that my favorite days were spent at wildly differing places....can't begin to tell you everything about them but here's a little:

Neuschwanstein Castle: We took the train to this magical place...made even more so by falling snow!!!! I'm sad that the amazing view was limited by the weather, but really the snow enhanced the experience....we "hiked" up a pretty steep road in the snow, and it felt like we were in Narnia....with the castle emerging out of the midst...truly an unbelievable place that this crazy, "fairy tale" King created! We decided to take the easier way down in a horse drawn carriage....so romantic (or at least had that potential:)...again, so felt like being in a Jane Austen kind of world...in a place removed from time.

Dachau: This was the 1st concentration camp....quite close to the city of Munich....and still unbelievable to comprehend that these horrific events actually occurred in this very place! I was quite "emotional" when visiting Auschwitz in the past....this time was different...more thoughtful, less drama. (or maybe these "grownup" eyes have seen too much to cry so easily?)...at any rate, it was a truly gripping experience. It is not hard to find comparisons to fear, social control, and racism existing in that time that are living strong still today. And so aware that without a spiritual, moral conscience these events are not all that distant from the best of us.....we are fragile, easily caught up in the chaos of madmen without God's grace alive in us. This camp has four separate memorials, actually churches (Jewish, Catholic, Orthodox, and Protestant).....each is beautiful and truly serve as a meaningful way to participate in what you have experienced.

OK....must stop rambling and really there's no way to convey the whole trip....so here's a few pics.....in no particular order or meaning....will include some of Andrea's (hers are better) later on.

(at the gazebo from the Sound of Music..w/Danille, the girl from England)

(our guide Peter on the Sound of Music tour.)

(at Neuschwanstein Castle)

(with our carriage driver...fun!)

(At Dachau)

("I had once thought that the most chilling experience of my life was to put my hand on the floor of the semicircular red brick ovens in Dachau. At that moment I said to myself, "Good God, could human beings do this to human beings?" But as I grow older, I learn each day that that was not the most chilling effect of my visit to Dachau. It was the ordinariness of Dachau. Flowers grow in flower pots that line the road and there's only an ordinary cyclone fence that surrounds that now almost empty field. Life goes on." Cardinal John J. O'Conner)

Unbelievable...

Well...it's Friday and Monday is fast coming!! I can hardly believe that "the trip" is here!! So excited...also somewhat apprehensive, but not too much, and hoping that all will go safely & smoothly both there and here! I've been feeling pretty calm, but did have a crazy dream last night of being at the airport with no suitcase!! It seems like I should be busier, but it seems like just about everything is ready to go....here's the list:

1) Suitcase Ready! (making myself limit the amt. of stuff..will only have to keep up w/it!)
2) Coat, scarf, mittens, sweaters, and tights all ready....it's going to be cold for this LA girl...maybe snowy...hoping for decent weather!)
3) Passport, $, flashlight, & umbrella ready...hope I'm not forgetting something!!.
4) Rick Steves book (and a couple others!) all ready to go!
5) Sweet & Low for my coffee....ready!
6) Food for the parents in the freezor. (although I bet they'll live it up and go out alot!:)
7) Checking my guilt/worry at the door! Hopefully! Been asked by a few people when hearing about the trip, "why" are you doing that?....(what I want to say is "because I want to"...or to quote Clinton "because I can!"...not the sweetest response, for sure!) I do not think there is any intrinsic value in traveling...mostly just a way of learning/discovery/enjoyment of more of this world God's created....but of course in my overthinking mind has developed a bit of paranoia. All of the trips I've done in recent years have been to visit friends....and I do value that more....but trust that this is OK too!
8) Asking others to say a small prayer when you think of us...both for Andrea & I and my parents....thanks! (done!)

Here's a brief itinerary:
-leave Mon.
-arrive in Munich Tues. morning...take train to Salzburg. (Mozart, Sound of music, concert, etc.) staying here.
-Thurs. morning take train back to Munich...while there, tour Munich, go to Dachau, and one entire day travel to Fussen and see the famous Neuschwanstein castle.
-Leave early Sun. morning to return home.....a short time really, but much to see & do while there....
-I will take plenty of pics. (and Andrea has a new, very fancy digital camera) but promise not to overdo it when I'm back and posting. (prabably will not post while there unless it just works out.)
-Grüß Gott to All!!

Here is a pic. of me & Andrea...(sadly, appropriately enough at the Ursaline convent in New Orleans:) so you know what we look like!

{Unrelated to the trip, although I'm bringing it along to read... After our discussion in the previous blog, I pulled out the book The Spirit Of The Disciplines (Understanding How God Changes Lives) by Dallas Willard. The title says much about his balance and it is good reading! It's not a new book...considered a classic by many. I was 1st attracted to his writing after reading an awesome interview with him in CT. I started this earlier in the year (which speaks poorly of my discipline!) but intend to read it through. What any good discussion does for me is illustrate how little I know (or to paraphrase my friend Tara..."I ain't no theologian!"). I highly recommend this book and it's easy to buy from amazon.}

{An additional prayer need: Just received word this afternoon that my uncle (Dad's brother) is returning home from MD Anderson...there is little more the doctors can do to address his terminal cancer...this is upsetting for all the family...we are thankful he is at rest in his soul, but so sorry to have him be in this time of trial. Almost difficult to keep up my "trip excitement" with this occurring...but trusting for peace for us all.}