Tonight was another night shopping at Walmart. Not necessarily my favorite place to be...but unavoidable if I want some badly needed savings. Walmart is on the other side of town so I try to wait until I'm over in that direction, often on my way home from playing Mass. It can be an infuriating experience...our Walmart has been termed one of the worst by out of town visitors. And when I moved here, I was quickly told by some folks that they "don't shop" at this Walmart, but at the one in the next town over (the richer community.) (Of course, innocent enough words sometimes are "code" for prejudice.) But I can understand that sentiment a little...our Walmart is quite the circus, never enough people working and filled with every imaginable sad, pathetic looking person known to man. It's even sometimes a little scary...and I do take the trouble to park close to a door if it's after dark.
I can lose alot of time in my quest for bargains....last visit was the last ice-cream freezer in the store on clearance!(Yay...we've been "needing" one all summer!:) That took talking to 3 different sales persons! Tonight it was finding the DCamera I've been watching marked down $50!!...awesome! (i sadly must report that the great camera purchase has fallen through...something was broken on it:(...the hunt will continue...)
I tend to carry around a weight of responsibility in the store....like somehow if I'm friendly to the groups of migrant workers I can calm the storm of the immigration debate....or if I strike up a conversation with a person of African heritage I can make up for all the trauma of racism. Yes, that's a little too much pressure...WHY do I carry around more burdens than I can possibly handle?! (I know I'm a little nuts!) But I do enjoy all these interactions...I hate how separate our worlds usually are even though I know there are no quick fixes for any of these issues. I also struggle with the awareness of how easily I can fall into "snobbishness"....condescension.
I think about the reasons our Walmart can seem a little crazy....the rampant poverty in this community, a culture still suffering the results of an enslavement of a people and the breakdown of family structure, a region continuing to reel from that terrible hurricane not too long ago. And (not unique) a mix of people from every social strata who (wherever they fall) need the Lord....are needy of love and forgiveness. I make myself remember these things as I stand in line....tired, frustrated, and worried about the amount of money I'm fixing to spend.
Yes, it's a world away from the "cultured" Art Museum I visited today. This is not suburbia....not a yuppie in sight! But this is where I am. These are mostly good people. Most of them are alot like me, whether we look anything alike or not. I think about Fr. Hank's sermon tonight on the virtue of patriotism versus the vice of nationalism. This is one place where the reality of that truth can play out in my life. Who is my brother? How much do I show (even in small interactions) that I value every person I meet? How will I treat the overworked person in the checkout line? Will I have an "attitude" or somehow maintain calm and peace in this place?
I walk out into the hot night.....the air is quiet, the sky is beautifully shadowed with pink, and a half-moon is rising. I hear the strains of Hank Williams singing "Melt Your Cold, Cold Heart" coming from the van parked next to my car. I am determined to have a warm heart.....