it's the end of August. almost the end of summer (thank God). not quite the end of hurricane season (sigh). today I've been 50 for 4 months:) I guess I'm stumbling through the transition well enough...some days better than others....
I've been thinking a bit on place...belonging. I only moved back to La as a result of my mom's illness. there was no way to know I'd be back here so long. kinda thought I'd move away at some point. these days my future thinking (a foolish way to spend time really) has me probably staying put here in some shape or fashion. I like it here. I love it here! and it's hard to "start over" (whatever that means) the older one gets....
I've been thinking a bit on place...belonging. I only moved back to La as a result of my mom's illness. there was no way to know I'd be back here so long. kinda thought I'd move away at some point. these days my future thinking (a foolish way to spend time really) has me probably staying put here in some shape or fashion. I like it here. I love it here! and it's hard to "start over" (whatever that means) the older one gets....
I've come to think humans will do just about anything to fit in....to feel comfortable.
I don't feel comfortable much: and most of the time I'm fine with that. I worry about being "all things to all people". I do seem to interact with such a varied span of people! I hope? to be consistently authentic, welcoming, openhearted wherever I am - and with whoever I'm with....but sometimes that leaves me feeling a little homeless myself. (not sure if that sentence makes sense but there it is:)
that homelessness feeling stems from other dynamics, too, of course. that is what it is, too....
How blessed I am to have a safe, loving home. have always had. I know this. in a world of loneliness and overwhelmingly bad news all around....these safe places are sacred. I don't think my faith should have me always looking up for an escape hatch; there's plenty of loving and doing to do here! yet it's true that any Hope we have is grounded in a better tomorrow....with full redemption and no sorrows or suffering. lots of poems/prayers/scriptures on this theme....but my mind traveled back to this old Dottie Rambo song...which also seems to fit my front porch picture pretty well:)
There's a light in the window
And the table's set in splendor
Someone's standing by the open door
I can see a crystal river
So I must be near forever
Lord, I've never been this homesick before
See the bright light shine
It's just about hometime
I can see my Father standing at the door
This world has been a wilderness
I'm ready for deliverance
Lord, I've never been this homesick before
And the table's set in splendor
Someone's standing by the open door
I can see a crystal river
So I must be near forever
Lord, I've never been this homesick before
See the bright light shine
It's just about hometime
I can see my Father standing at the door
This world has been a wilderness
I'm ready for deliverance
Lord, I've never been this homesick before
