~Hello....and Goodbye~

I have been blessed this week to find "the right" new/used car....the details fit for us....and so i am somewhat proudly but mostly apprehensively driving around a much better lookin car!:)

of course the story is not as simple as that...it's been a bit of an emotional experience to let go of the old car. It needed replacing...as a '96, she had seen better days. But she's also driven me through some pretty tumultuous days. Through illness and change; through numerous states of the country and through VERY many numerous states of mind!

the Corolla was bought while i still had an actual job...and i can't help but remember all of the little clients i drove around in it.

this transition was unexpectedly tricky for Mom...she was the one who had found the old car for me...and this was our last vehicle she actually drove. After all, she definitely was the "car person" in the family. Another loss. Seems little, but signifies much.

So...YES...I'm being somewhat melodramatic!...and (again) find myself facing the tendency to hold on too tightly....gotta learn to let go a little better.

I'm remembering the words to an old song: "the things of earth will dim and lose their value~when we recall they're only borrowed for awhile". True...even for mostly unimportant things like cars!:)

• So..."Hello" to my Mazda 3I (with brand-new leather seats!)

and "Goodbye" to my faithful old Corolla...

....we'll miss you.

{i've never been a car-namer...but for some reason, i think "Maisy" might be the perfect name for this one. I must be thinking about the real Maisy, who's just lovely!:)}

Recognizing Riches...

~this past Sunday night, my Pastor spoke on "the blessings of believers"...Psalm 103: "Forget not all His benefits"...and listed a whole litany of amazingly wonderful promises from the Word of God. Things that we (unfortunately) often forget to be thankful about.

~it was good for me to hear....I haven't been feeling very rich lately....

~by grace, i am a pretty contented sort of soul. I truly get how fleeting and chaffy and meaningless the stuff and excesses of this consumerism crazed society really are....... (is chaffy a word?!)

~it's not the stuff I'm worried with...it's this "i don't have a job and i need another car!!" kind of living that troubles me!:) it's not that I long to take an expensive trip to escape reality...i really don't (although if i won a trip to Europe right now, I'd go:)....

~i don't mind Reality...living in the Truth is pretty good...it's just that i wish my particular brand of reality was perhaps shaded a little differently...

~But every now and then i forget what is Real....forget the stats i read from World Vision of how little the rest of the world lives on...i get lonesome for a time when finances were not troublesome....when my "good taste" got pampered a little....(ok, more than a little:) And truly i still am pampered ....sometimes.

Most concerning, i feel poor in some things of real value....issues i can't do one thing in the world to change....

• *Sigh*

so here's a partial list of blessings/riches that i needed to hear....maybe someone else does, too:

(of course there are scripture references for all of these, just not including them....)

-I have access to the grace of God!

-I am adopted by the Father!

-I am a citizen of Heaven!

-I am a new creation!

-I am reconciled with God!

-I have peace with God!

-I am a dwelling place of the Holy Spirit!

-Jesus is my advocate!

-My name is in the Book of Life!

-God will supply All of my Needs!

-I am given strength!!

-I am being made a saint!

• "Lord, Help me to be more grateful for these marvelous , undeserved Blessings!"

~Being Real~

awhile back i read The Velveteen Rabbit again....a wonderful read. I'm sure I've mentioned it before, but one of the best sermons i think i've ever heard was in a little campmeeting in Mi., by Bro. John Parker when he read a portion from this book, relating it to what the essence of Holy living means. That illustration has stayed with me all these years. This beautiful word picture of "being real" has been on my mind in the last few days....

~"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand." "The Boy's Uncle made me Real," he said. "That was a great many years ago; but once you are Real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always."~

(from The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery
Williams Illustration by William Nicholson)

An Autumn Forest.....

"Therefore know that the LORD your God, He is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and mercy for a thousand generations with those who love Him and keep His commandments"

(Deuteronomy 7:9)

~this photo and scripture are on a little calendar i keep. I find it very calming and so, so beautiful. (finding it on the internet confirms for me that one can (with persistence!) find just about anything on there:)

~Today (and every day) I needed to be reminded that He Is God:

....even when i am at a loss for how to help in unfixable problems...

....even when i am angry with individuals who create unnecessary problems in a world where there are already real problems aplenty...

...even when i see hate seem to triumph over Godliness...

...even when i feel alienated and overwhelmed...

~He reminds me of His faithfulness with His reassuring presence and by my many sweet and wise family members and friends~

~So even though right about now i'd like to just walk away from a few situations into this lovely autumn forest......i will keep walking forward confidently amidst the confusing forest that i am in~

~He Is God~

not a Christmas letter.....

one of the things i did in my (not) oh so busy day today was gather up the boxes of Christmas cards that I had purchased off clearance tables. (you do that, too, right...buy them super, super cheap?....such a feeling of conning the system when you pay next to nothing for the cards!! :) (what system, you ask?...why, the Christmas Card Conspiracy System!!) (it might be just a bit early to even be thinking of Christmas cards....but it is such a job!...and requires me getting my act together well in advance in order to pull off....and for whatever reasons, i am dreading it more than usual this year...)

i had been thinking of doing a letter this year (& yes, i even had that stuff bought already too!!) but as the fateful day of needing to write the letter approaches, i sense i will certainly not be up to actually doing it....

What should i say? Is it acceptable to send out a letter that says "Hey...Happy Christmas Y'all! Not much has changed since you last heard from us!" Since no one much reads this blog anyway, i think I'll be real about our "news" for a moment here:

• ~Paul is still working in an extremely stressful environment...he's tired all the time. (we're hoping he can retire soon, but then that opens a whole new can of worms...)
• ~Naomi is still holding her own...& is pretty much the same...maybe not as good as at some other times since she's not able to be in the physical therapy that she needs. (we're hoping we can help her as much as we can...)
• ~Kimberly is "bravely" holding onto her last shred of sanity...at least trying to.....still "caregiving"....still doing music.....still single. (she's hoping to....remain hopeful.)
• ~(nah, that's all way too uncheerful for a Christmas letter....)

Truly, i love the Christmas Season....i love the way we celebrate together the Gift of Salvation that entered our world through Jesus....i even love Christmas cards and letters.....i'm a real schmaltz when it comes to all of it....

But this year, I'm just not up to performing the "compare and impress" game that sometimes seems to become a part of the letters....where I've been, who i know, what I (or my children) have achieved. I'm also not up for putting out a "got it all together" kind of story. It's way more complicated than that.

Of course, if i were to write a letter, i would include the other important facts of our little family....we love God, we are loved by Him, we love each other, we are surviving pretty nicely, we are at peace, we find Grace sufficient even in dreary times. (and we've had some marvelous times with friends and family even this year...there are good times even in tough times.)

I'm so very thankful for the "comfort and joy" present in Christmas itself and in Christmas greetings. I will send and receive with joy!

(but i will be sending cards & not writing a letter this year...and the other stuff i said is true, too!:)

Worship Dilemmas

I am struggling to reconcile all of the styles of worship in which I participate as well as all of my personal opinions and preferences about worship. (and i know that's all they are....just opinions and preferences:) All of the details associated with church services can get a little tricky, and can contribute to losing focus on the point of it all....truly Worshiping God. And frankly, sometimes I am conflicted about how worshiping Him is best accomplished. Sometimes it seems we find it difficult to strike a happy balance between God-focus and self-focus. Both are needed. Trying to make all of the pieces of this puzzle fit together can leave me feeling frustrated...pressured. Unfortunately, I can find myself being less of a Lover of God than I want to be...or, more importantly, than I am called to be. There are no quick fixes for this discussion I am having in my head...I know that. But, somehow, I think some of the answers to these (shall we say) "worship dilemmas" may be found in the words of this old hymn we sang this morning:

Sitting At The Feet Of Jesus

"Sitting at the feet of Jesus,
Oh, what words I hear Him say!
Happy place! so near, so precious!
May it find me there each day.
Sitting at the feet of Jesus,
I would look upon the past;
For His love has been so gracious,
It has won my heart at last.

Sitting at the feet of Jesus,
Where can mortal be more blest?
There I lay my sins and sorrows
And, when weary, find sweet rest.
Sitting at the feet of Jesus,
There I love to weep and pray,
While I from His fullness gather
Grace and comfort every day.

Bless me, O my Savior, bless me,
As I sit low at Thy feet.
Oh, look down in love upon me;
Let me see Thy face so sweet.
Give me, Lord, the mind of Jesus;
Make me holy as He is.
May I prove I’ve been with Jesus,
Who is all my righteousness."
(J.H./Asa Hull)

Bread Pudding....and Gingersnaps....

kind of a strange title...but i like the sound if it!:) i mentioned a glorious bread pudding on fb the other night..and somehow gingersnap cookies and their pumpkin dip jumped into the conversation too; so i am posting the requested recipes here..it's just easier.

Ah....food...what a wonderful, comforting, beautiful pleasure of life. No wonder it's so often a part of relationships & of both good and bad times. I loved Paul Child's quote to Julia: "You are the butter to my bread and the breath to my life" (from Julie and Julia). Sweet.

And not to go completely off the deep end, food can even be spiritual....scriptures and whole books have been devoted to that analogy. How clever of the Lord to speak in a language we understand...cause, man do i ever understand food!:) but Seriously, what a blessing....that our God created these fleshly enjoyments.....and (i think) enjoys when we enjoy them! "For he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things." (Psalm 107:9)

But....i do SERIOUSLY intend to attack these stubborn, insidious 10lbs...there's been a bit too much enjoyment around here lately! my efforts will start next week...after Labor Day....i will bring the exerciser back in the house:)...now that I've written it for the "world" to see maybe I'll actually do it....

~The Recipes~

Gingersnaps

2/3 c .vegetable oil
1/2 t. salt
1 c . sugar
2 t. baking soda
1 egg
1 t. ground cinnamon
1/4 c. molasses (or honey)
1 t. ground ginger
2 c. all-purpose flour
(small amt of sugar in bowl)

Combine oil & 1 cup sugar in bowl;
Add eggs and beat well.
Stir in molasses or honey.
Combine flour, salt, soda, cinn., & ginger;
Add to molasses mixture - stirring to mix.
Roll dough into 1-inch balls; roll each in sugar bowl.
Place 2 inches apart on a greased cookie sheet or stone.
Bake at 350 degrees for 10 - 12 minutes

Pumpkin Dip
(from Heather D.)

1 8oz. cream cheese
1 15 oz can pumpkin pie mix
2 cups powered sugar
1/2 to 1 t. cinnamon
1/4 to 1/2 ginger
Mix together. Will be "runny". Store in fridge.

~these cookies work great for Mom and me to do together. We don't always have the dip/ sometimes we dip half of the cookie in white chocolate then sprinkle on sparklies. The plain cookies are just fine , too!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

White Chocolate Peach Bread Pudding

13-15 pieces of sliced white bread

1 lb. frozen peaches, thawed & cut

1 cup heavy cream

2 cups milk

1/4 cup butter, cut up

2 oz. Baker’s white chocolate, chopped

3 eggs

1 1/2 cups sugar

1teaspoon almond extract

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Tear bread into pieces in a large (9 x 13) sprayed baking dish. Sprinkle peaches over bread. Heat cream, milk and butter in the microwave until hot and butter melts. Stir in chopped white chocolate until melted and pour over bread and peaches. In a separate bowl, whisk together eggs, sugar and almond extract. Pour over bread mixture and gently stir in. Bake about 45 minutes. Serve topped with White Chocolate Sauce. (serves 8-10)

White Chocolate Sauce:

4 oz. Baker’s white chocolate, chopped

1/2 cup heavy cream Heat cream in the microwave until boiling. Whisk in white chocolate until combined. Drizzle over bread pudding. (i did this in a little pot and added a little butter to it...that makes a nice consistency)

~i did not use peaches!! i used a bag of white chocolate chips...1/2 for the bread pudding and 1/2 for the sauce. i used plain ole bread. i used a little more of just regular skim milk than the heavy cream...next time i plan to dilute even more. This is rich but incredible stuff!! a couple of ladies in our church make this recipe and I'm so glad they shared it with me. I hope ya'll enjoy these recipes, too!