"Christmas Chatting"

it's been a very busy, busy time around here lately...certainly not because i have a full social calendar (ha!) but there definitely has seemed to be many things to 'oversee' and get done....but things have calmed down a bit this Christmas Week and i am so glad. There's still plenty to do....but the "big stressful stuff" is mostly over. Thankfully! I so wish i could spend a long time chatting with all of my dear friends scattered far and near....the holidays make me miss you all more! I know a few of you still read this blog, so i'm thinking this might have to work until we can be together. Here's a few moments i think are worth mentioning about this Season so far...

~we managed to draft replacement Marys for our 2 church programs (i think a Christmas play without a Mary might have been not so good:) or else would have made for a whole new kind of story!)

~i have had the energy needed to get what has seemed like an almost insurmountable list of things done...i am thankful!!

~a helpful tip for Christmas decorating is simply leaving the decorations from the previous year just sitting around in the garage...makes gathering them all up again for placement quite convenient. (not that i have personally experienced the convenience of this tip...i'm just offering helpful advice:)

~i was able to make a needed and good trip to Fl. for a beautiful wedding....with the added bonus of staying with Kayla and her family....it came at both bad and really good timing for me...trips to Hobe Sound can be somewhat pressureful for me as i try to fit in a lot of special things and people....but this time i was pretty much able to truly relax a little (even in a short span of time) and be satisfied with what could actually get accomplished in a really short visit...(and to have some good times of connecting with the 4 funny Martin boys!:)

~kind folks helped me out at the last minute in the necessary details that make trips doable. I am learning that kindness is available...but not always from expected sources. (a highlight of having "helpers" here was getting to hear an eyebrow-grooming discussion between my Uncle Dwight and Mr. Kendall!!:)

~long distant friends offered sweet support to my parents while i was away....even if from thousands of miles away, that is very meaningful to me...

~we've had a 'cuff-link emergency' in this house....the crisp, white shirt I'd gotten for my Dad for Christmas Sunday unexpectedly required them!! The small miracle was that we actually were able to locate the one pair in the house...which had apparently belonged to my Grandpa or something...funny times!

~i've been happy with my balance of Christmas music listening this year....sometimes over listening can be too emotional for me....but this Season's listening has been a nice middle-road between the sacred and the silly. (that might be a good way to live, now that i think of it!:)

~similarly, i have done a better job this year of not trying to "overproduce" the Christmas experience. I am learning that the pleasure is often in "being" rather than "doing". (and yes that applies to other areas, too!)

~we are looking forward to spending a couple of the upcoming Christmas days with extended family in Tx. It's been years since we've traveled for this holiday, and there's a special excitement that comes with that! So thankful for welcoming family!

~i've been learning some good lessons lately....about forgiving, about what giving from a kind heart means, and about living honestly. I often focus more on the honesty part than the kindness part...that needs adjusting. Living in a Christlike way might actually mean saying NO! more or worrying less about things that don't matter in the big picture. I am committed to trusting more....to listening better to the needs around me...and to loving hard! (even when it hurts...)

~I'm grateful for a sense of calm that has covered these busy days...i'm completely fine admitting that i often feel pretty overwhelmed....but that sense of overwhelmedness does not restrict me from having peace and calm in my soul...that is a gift of Grace...for which i am thankful!

~i almost didn't bring along the book The Relentless Tenderness of Jesus (Brennan Manning) on my trip to Fl. but i felt the urge that i should....and when i started looking through it again i realized there is a whole section about 'Jesus at Christmas'. This reading has been so very perfect and encouraging to me. Here's one of my favorite sections from the book: ~I come to the stable just as I am, not as I should be (since I'm never going to be as I should be), a poor, weak, sinful man with easy rationalizations for my inconsistent behavior, a little frightened because I am called to live the words I am setting down...The little Child looks at me, smiles and says: 'Don't be afraid; I am with you. I expect more failures from you than you expect from yourself. Peace is My gift to you. Live this day in the wisdom of my accepted tenderness.'~ I feel truly grateful that He came, He sees, He knows, He forgives, and He accepts!

~So very happy to be blessed by getting to visit in Fl. with two of my favorite girls in the world at this Christmas time~

~I am so blessed by the love, the example, and the sharing of life with my beautiful parents~

"Merry, Merry Christmas to All of You!"

"What Sweeter Music"

"What sweeter music can we bring
Than a carol, for to sing
The birth of this our heavenly King?
Awake the voice! Awake the string!

Dark and dull night fly hence away,
And give the honor to this day
That sees December turned to May.

Why does the chilling winter’s morn
Smile, like a field beset with corn?
Or smell like a meadow newly shorn
Thus on the sudden? Come and see
The cause, why things thus fragrant be :

Tis he is born, whose quickening birth
Gives life and lustre, public mirth,
To heaven and the underearth.

We see him come, and know him ours,
Who, with his sunshine and his showers,
Turns all the patient ground to flowers.

The darling of the world is come,
And fit it is, we find a room
To welcome him, to welcome him.

The nobler part of all the house here, is the heart,
Which we will give him; and bequeath
This holly, and this ivy wreath,
To do him honor; who’s our King,
And Lord of all this revelling.

What sweeter music can we bring
Than a carol, for to sing
The birth of this our heavenly King?"

(John Rutter)

abridged from Robert Herrick's poem (1591-1674)

Advent Prayer

(Henri J.M. Nouwen)

Lord Jesus,
Master of both the light and the darkness,

send your Holy Spirit upon our preparations for Christmas.
We who have so much to do

seek quiet spaces to hear your voice each day.
We who are anxious over many things

look forward to your coming among us.
We who are blessed in so many ways

long for the complete joy of your kingdom.
We whose hearts are heavy

seek the joy of your presence.
We are your people,

walking in darkness, yet seeking the light.
To you we say,

"Come Lord Jesus!"
Amen.

~Hello....and Goodbye~

I have been blessed this week to find "the right" new/used car....the details fit for us....and so i am somewhat proudly but mostly apprehensively driving around a much better lookin car!:)

of course the story is not as simple as that...it's been a bit of an emotional experience to let go of the old car. It needed replacing...as a '96, she had seen better days. But she's also driven me through some pretty tumultuous days. Through illness and change; through numerous states of the country and through VERY many numerous states of mind!

the Corolla was bought while i still had an actual job...and i can't help but remember all of the little clients i drove around in it.

this transition was unexpectedly tricky for Mom...she was the one who had found the old car for me...and this was our last vehicle she actually drove. After all, she definitely was the "car person" in the family. Another loss. Seems little, but signifies much.

So...YES...I'm being somewhat melodramatic!...and (again) find myself facing the tendency to hold on too tightly....gotta learn to let go a little better.

I'm remembering the words to an old song: "the things of earth will dim and lose their value~when we recall they're only borrowed for awhile". True...even for mostly unimportant things like cars!:)

• So..."Hello" to my Mazda 3I (with brand-new leather seats!)

and "Goodbye" to my faithful old Corolla...

....we'll miss you.

{i've never been a car-namer...but for some reason, i think "Maisy" might be the perfect name for this one. I must be thinking about the real Maisy, who's just lovely!:)}

Recognizing Riches...

~this past Sunday night, my Pastor spoke on "the blessings of believers"...Psalm 103: "Forget not all His benefits"...and listed a whole litany of amazingly wonderful promises from the Word of God. Things that we (unfortunately) often forget to be thankful about.

~it was good for me to hear....I haven't been feeling very rich lately....

~by grace, i am a pretty contented sort of soul. I truly get how fleeting and chaffy and meaningless the stuff and excesses of this consumerism crazed society really are....... (is chaffy a word?!)

~it's not the stuff I'm worried with...it's this "i don't have a job and i need another car!!" kind of living that troubles me!:) it's not that I long to take an expensive trip to escape reality...i really don't (although if i won a trip to Europe right now, I'd go:)....

~i don't mind Reality...living in the Truth is pretty good...it's just that i wish my particular brand of reality was perhaps shaded a little differently...

~But every now and then i forget what is Real....forget the stats i read from World Vision of how little the rest of the world lives on...i get lonesome for a time when finances were not troublesome....when my "good taste" got pampered a little....(ok, more than a little:) And truly i still am pampered ....sometimes.

Most concerning, i feel poor in some things of real value....issues i can't do one thing in the world to change....

• *Sigh*

so here's a partial list of blessings/riches that i needed to hear....maybe someone else does, too:

(of course there are scripture references for all of these, just not including them....)

-I have access to the grace of God!

-I am adopted by the Father!

-I am a citizen of Heaven!

-I am a new creation!

-I am reconciled with God!

-I have peace with God!

-I am a dwelling place of the Holy Spirit!

-Jesus is my advocate!

-My name is in the Book of Life!

-God will supply All of my Needs!

-I am given strength!!

-I am being made a saint!

• "Lord, Help me to be more grateful for these marvelous , undeserved Blessings!"

~Being Real~

awhile back i read The Velveteen Rabbit again....a wonderful read. I'm sure I've mentioned it before, but one of the best sermons i think i've ever heard was in a little campmeeting in Mi., by Bro. John Parker when he read a portion from this book, relating it to what the essence of Holy living means. That illustration has stayed with me all these years. This beautiful word picture of "being real" has been on my mind in the last few days....

~"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand." "The Boy's Uncle made me Real," he said. "That was a great many years ago; but once you are Real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always."~

(from The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery
Williams Illustration by William Nicholson)

An Autumn Forest.....

"Therefore know that the LORD your God, He is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and mercy for a thousand generations with those who love Him and keep His commandments"

(Deuteronomy 7:9)

~this photo and scripture are on a little calendar i keep. I find it very calming and so, so beautiful. (finding it on the internet confirms for me that one can (with persistence!) find just about anything on there:)

~Today (and every day) I needed to be reminded that He Is God:

....even when i am at a loss for how to help in unfixable problems...

....even when i am angry with individuals who create unnecessary problems in a world where there are already real problems aplenty...

...even when i see hate seem to triumph over Godliness...

...even when i feel alienated and overwhelmed...

~He reminds me of His faithfulness with His reassuring presence and by my many sweet and wise family members and friends~

~So even though right about now i'd like to just walk away from a few situations into this lovely autumn forest......i will keep walking forward confidently amidst the confusing forest that i am in~

~He Is God~